He Who Smelt It

Dear Isaac,

Who knew the blame game began at such a young age?  While feeding Eleanor, you told me you were pooping.  When I told you that I needed to change your diaper, you were very emphatic that it wasn't in fact you, but rather your sister who had gone.  Way to try to blame the baby.

Love,

Mommy

PS - You blow your spot every time you tell me orange juice makes you poop.

Grateful

Dear Isaac and Eleanor,

It's a super scary world out there.  Bad things happen to good people.  Good people make decisions that can hurt them.  I can't promise you sunshine and roses all of the time, but for tonight, I'll hug you a little longer and give you a few extra kisses in hopes that someday it will make all the difference.

Love,

Mommy

A Rose By Any Other Name

Dear Eleanor,

I like to call you Ella Bella.  I think it's a nickname that suits you well.  Every time I call you that, I am thankful that I didn't decide to name you Betty.  Why you ask?  You are the warmest baby in the world, my own personal furnace.  This would be great if it weren't 70+ degrees in October.  As the world's warmest baby, you sweat, a lot.  If I had named you Betty, I would have to call you Sweaty Betty.  I hope that you cool off by the time you start school, or I fear your classmates will have no choice but to call you Smelly Ellie.

Love,

Mommy

Size is Relative

Dear Isaac,

This morning we packed ourselves up and headed out to get pumpkins so that you can carve them with Daddy.  We went to Stew Leonards, where there was no shortage of really big pumpkins.  You, however, were not interested in big pumpkins.  You only wanted small ones.  Instead of leaving with pumpkins that you couldn't carry if you tried, which was what I imagined we'd get, we left with two pumpkins that you can easily lift.  I guess I was thinking bigger was better, but little pumpkins are still big to you.

Love,

Mommy

Never Say Never

Dear Eleanor,

I never thought I'd say this, but please wake up!  You are getting to be a champion sleeper, which is excellent, but be sure to save some of that power for nighttime.  Isaac and I want to go get pumpkins.

Love,

Mommy

An Apple a Day

Dear Isaac,

You keep asking me for apple pie.  This, by itself, is funny, because as far I know you have never had apple pie.  Today, however, when you asked for it, and I told you I didn't have an apple pie, you suggested that we "go to Grandma's house".  Clearly the stereotype that grandmas bake has penetrated your peer group.  Or maybe you just know you can get whatever you want at Grandma's house.

Love,

Mommy

Record Setters

Dear Isaac and Eleanor,

I have to say, I am impressed.  I had no idea either of you could read.  Or that you had such a handle on sarcasm at such a young age.   Eleanor, I think you may be eligible for a Guinness World Record.  11 weeks, 3 days old and reading already.  Amazing.  Anyway, I just wanted to thank you so much for reading my blog.  How do I know you read it?  Well, Eleanor, you slept until 3AM after going to bed around 9:30 and Isaac, you slept until 7AM!!  These are your personal bests in recent history.  Clearly after reading my letters you realized I needed more sleep, too!   Don't be afraid to go for the gold and try to beat your personal bests.  No one will be disappointed.

Love,

An almost well-rested Mommy

A Vicious Cycle

Dear Isaac,

Just like flowers need water to grow, so too do you need sleep to get better.  You're back on the nebulizer for the second time in as many weeks.  Two days without naps and attempting to wake up for the day at 3:10AM (Daddy staved you off until 5:00) do not a healed boy make.  It doesn't make a happy Mommy either.  Unhappy mommies make unhappy daddies.  The cycle's a killer.  Please go to sleep.

Love,

Mommy

Nights Are For Sleeping

Dear Eleanor,

Just as I feared, your long spurts of beauty rest yesterday caused you to wake up every hour and a half last night.  I'd tell you how tired I was today, but instead, I think I'll just remind you that Santa is coming and he expects you to be sleeping when he arrives or no gifts.

Here's hoping for a better night tonight.

Love,

Mommy

The Things You Say

Dear Isaac,

You have a couple of catchphrases that you are using a lot.  They crack me up every time you say them.  Recently, you often respond "I knew it!" to most things I say, while pumping your arm to give emphasis.  You also like to "Rock and Roll!"  Thanks for reminding me when we went outside today, "Remember?  Hold hands!"  I'm glad you don't want me to get lost.

You're pretty cute. 

Love,

Mommy

Refreshing

Dear Eleanor,

Thank you for only waking up once last night.  I feel like a real person today.  You, however, seem to be sleeping the day away.  Please do not destroy this magical feeling from last night's sleep by sleeping all day and staying awake all night.

Love,

Mommy

School is Cool

Dear Isaac,

I have been worried about your lack of enthusiasm for going to school in the morning.  Your repeated cries of "I don't wanna school!" made me wonder if you were unhappy there or if something had happened.  When I asked you after school one day last week why you had cried that morning, you responded, "It's funny".  I guess that should have been my first clue that you were fine. 

Today's drop-off kind of sealed the deal for me though.  Before we left, I promised you a treat when we get home this afternoon if you didn't cry when I dropped you off.  You've cried every day you've been back so far.  With the promise of an unknown-to-you treat, however, there was not a tear to be seen.  I wonder if I can get away with giving you an apple?

Love,

Mommy

Dandy, but No Yankee Doodle

Dear Isaac,

For the last week or so, you have excitedly pointed to the news at random times and exclaimed, "Daddy!  Work!"  I couldn't figure out why you thought you were seeing Daddy's school on TV.  Until today.  You were sitting in the living room and again said, "Daddy! Work!"  and I looked up and there was Yankee Stadium on the news.  Now, Daddy's no A-Rod or Jeter, but you're right.  We DO pass Yankee Stadium every time we pick Daddy up from work.  Your geography skills are far superior to mine.

Love,

Mommy

Wait Until the Sun Comes Up

Dear Isaac,

You are not old enough to have a paper route, so I cannot fathom why you think 3:45AM is an appropriate time to wake up for the day.  If you truly love us, you will never do this again.  Christmas is coming.  Just sayin'.  Santa's watching and things aren't looking too good for you.

Love,

Mommy

Personal Shopper

Dear Eleanor,

You are my new favorite shopping companion.  I have not really gone shopping for myself since Isaac was born, but today, with your help, I managed to buy lots of stuff just for me.  You're a little young to enjoy spending 5.5 hours at the mall on a Saturday, but you were very helpful in telling me what looked best.  You didn't even ask me to buy you anything.  You are welcome to shop with me whenever you like.  Or until you can walk and talk.

Love,

Mommy

Lessons from Yo Gabba Gabba

Dear Isaac,

While I know Sesame Street and the Fresh Beat Band are your current favorite shows, I think we need to go back to Yo Gabba Gabba and the important lessons it teaches.  Remember the "Don't Bite Your Friends" episode?  Clearly you did not at today's playdate.  It's never okay to bite.  Even if you're really tired.   Or you really want to play with something.  Or someone takes the toy you're playing with.  Or you're really excited about being at the circus with Grandma and Grandpa.  Okay, okay, that was me, but still.  It's too early in the season to lose our playdate privileges. 

Love,

Your Embarrassed Mommy

The Small Stuff

Dear Isaac,

I was going to write you a letter about the fact that it is unacceptable for you to wake up at 4AM for any reason, even if you "wanna potty".  I was going to tell you how your sister didn't sleep well last night either and that this makes for a cranky Mommy.  I was also going to tell you that it's probably unnecessary to flip out about wanting to take the train to school once you've happily arrived there by bus. 

I got an email this morning with some pretty yucky health news about a friend of a friend.  Instead of telling you all of the things I was going to tell you, I'll instead say, I'll take the 4AM wake-ups, sleepless nights and tantrums any day in exchange for good health.  No need to sweat the small stuff. 

Love,

Mommy

Point Taken

Dear Eleanor,

I just wanted to let you know that I received your memo RE:  Mommy Napping While Eleanor Naps and Isaac is at School.  I now clearly understand that you have no interest in me napping while you nap and that you find it offensive when I try.  After trying to get a little nap in all morning and being awakened by you every five minutes, I gave up my fight when you finally fell asleep and decided to be productive.  I hear you, loud and clear, napping is not an appropriate activity while you are sleeping, however, I can feel free to vacuum, organize drawers and do any other form of necessary housework.  I hope your Daddy didn't put you up to this.

Love,

Mommy

The Screamer

Dear Isaac,

Today was not our best day.  I kept you home from school because I wasn't sure you were at 100% yet.  You spent a lot of time yelling at me.  Now, some of your fans might say, "Oh, he doesn't know what he's doing he's only two."  You would smile your cute smile and think no one was on to your game.  You sold yourself out, however, when Daddy asked you why you screamed at me and you responded, "I want go to park.  I want get dressed."  These were the exactly reasons you were screaming.  While neither is unreasonable in and of themselves, you demanded both at 5PM.  Perhaps if you had been willing to get dressed at 8AM, when I tried to get you to change out of your pjs, the rest of the day would have gone a bit better.

Love,

Mommy

Say My Name

Dear Eleanor,

I can only hope that you smile and get all excited when Daddy tells you to, "Say Da-da," because you know that it will never happen before you say, "Mama".  Maybe it's a little inside joke you and I have.  I mean, I fully support your 1st Amendment rights and happily encourage you to say whatever you'd like, but I'd hate to see you bite the hand that feeds you...

Love,

Mommy

Deep Breaths

Dear Isaac,

Last night was pretty scary.  You had your first (and second!) asthma attack.  Even though I hate trauma of any kind, I'm alright with asthma, since I had it as a kid too.  We are lucky that you have such a wonderful doctor and that she is always on call (literally, ALWAYS - she's in private practice by herself).  We're also lucky (?!)  that you have had respiratory problems before, so we already had the medicines and nebulizer here and didn't have to go to the hospital.  You didn't like the nebulizer at all when you were younger, but now that you are older and a super helper, you don't mind helping the fish (-shaped mask) eat his food.  You're such a big, brave boy.  That makes me breathe easy.

Love,


Mommy

Beauty Rest

Dear Eleanor,

I'm not trying to give you a complex, or make you self-conscious at such a young age, however, those bags under your eyes would go away if you'd go to sleep.  Just sayin'.

Love,

Mommy

Let Me Tell You

Dear Isaac,

You sure had a lot of things to tell me today.  First, you told me twice that you needed to use the potty and you did!  This is pretty amazing, considering we've taken no steps in potty training you.  Thanks for taking care of it yourself.  While on the potty, you spent a lot of time telling me "I have penis".  Another true statement. 

When you asked to go to the bank after seeing an ad in Time magazine with coins on it, and I refused, you instead offered the option for us to go for a haircut.  Very clever.

I'm not sure yelling at Eleanor to "Stop crying!" is the most effective means to that end, but it sounded nice when you added "please".

And finally, thanks again for telling me what a good cook I am at dinner.  You're right, I can order a mean pizza.

Love,

Mommy

Trick or?

Dear Isaac,

Most people think that treats are things you get infrequently for a job well done or a special occasion and are generally nutritionally void.  You however, have given "treat" a new meaning.  I love that you are willing to call most things you eat treats, no matter what their nutritional value.  As a result, you are welcome to all of the "apple treats" and "banana treats" you like. 

Love,

Mommy

PS - Please don't discuss treats with your friends at school.  I fear if you do you they will have new meaning for you.  I'd hate for you to be disappointed.

Drive on, Jeeves

Dear Isaac,

I fear you're turning into one of those Manhattan kids they make television shows about.  The MTA subway system is not our own personal chauffeur.  The A train takes anyone who wants to ride, up and down 8th Avenue and into Brooklyn all day.  While the train is always available for us to use, it's not only for us, therefore, you needn't cry when the train leaves the station after we've gotten off.  It will come back next time we need it.

Love,

Mommy

Fashion Choices

Dear Isaac,

Although we tend to prefer our clothes to be stain and rip-free, some people like that kind of thing.  The lady on the bus this morning had holes in her jeans on purpose.  She must like them that way.  I'm glad she didn't realize what you were talking about when you kept pointing at her jeans and saying, "Look, Mommy!  Oh no!  Look!!!!"  Think of it as built-in air-conditioning.

Love,

Mommy

Healthy and Happy

Dear Eleanor,

Today is a rough day for you.  You had your first vaccinations - 3 shots and an oral dose.  You are not your usual happy self and are probably wondering why I would ever put you through this.  I promise, never getting the diseases for which you were vaccinated against is the ultimate payoff.  I will do my best to stay patient while you get over the shots, but if you could find it in your heart to be miserable only until 11PM, I would really appreciate it.  My nerves can't take this all night.

Love,

Mommy

Investing in my Sanity

Dear Eleanor,

I have decided to reclaim my sanity.  Everyone will be happier this way.  Your brother will love this as it means he gets to go back to school three days a week.  While this is an easy solution that will make many of us very happy, I might be even saner if I could employ a wet-nurse for you, my insatiable little lady.

Love,

Mommy

PS -  I speak from experience when I say there's usually a tomorrow, so you need not eat like there isn't.

Catchphrase

Dear Isaac,

You have become so verbally expressive.  Perhaps the very best example is a phrase you picked up just the other day and have embraced as a keystone of your vocabulary.  There's no hiding your disappointment about bedtime, naptime, or any other time you don't get to do exactly what you want when you exclaim, "Oh, man!" with exasperation.

Love,

Mommy

People People

Dear Isaac,

Daddy and I are people people.  Anyone who knows us knows that we love to talk and will do so to anyone at anytime.  Even to total strangers.  It should come to no surprise to us, then, that as you and I were leaving the grocery store, you proudly waved your little hand back and forth, announcing, "Bye, people! Bye, people!" 

You're so cute.

Love,

Mommy